I finally figured it out. Never knew how to convey this particular deep seated feeling, but I think it just became clarified. My desire for music does not come from a love for showbiz, fame or praise.... really none of that is motivating enough to me to make me want to write..actually it feels pretty empty...but a desire to speak, to sound my voice, to reconcile the world around me that I see, with the world that I long for it to be. A world of justice, of peace, of respect for humans, plants, and animals.......heaven really..... .......I see the pain of the world everyday, the atrophy, and just hope that in my life, I could leave something of a good trail behind me...that my ripple in this big pond might spur a warmed heart in someone else.. As many of you who may know me, I can tend to have a quiet way at times, and it's mostly cuz I'm just seeing, processing everything, and thinking about it, Man! it can be hard to turn my brain OFF! ...but music, music gives me a voice in this world, a time when people will listen, and I time when I have to be careful with what I say. 

Anyway, this post is getting lengthy, and I believe we all have our own way of bringing something good and relating in this world, something that connects us with others. And I guess I'm just figuring out that MY way.... is music and writing....and that I don't have to feel ashamed about that because even though often times music is a vain industry..it doesn't 

have to be. 

Alright that's it for now!

Walt Whitman seemed to some up the totality of my current feelings (how does he do it!?) in one sentence that I'll leave you with:

"I SOUND MY BARBARIC YAWP OVER THE ROOFS OF THE WORLD."

-W.W.